✔ Inserts updates / COPY (5/30)
Completed by Greg A.
- Assigned to
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Greg A.
- Due on
- Notes
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OMT insert:
- Is the font kerned? Looks tighter than the other inserts.
- 2nd para, 2nd sent – add a space between “care …”
- 3rd para, 3rd sent – lowercase “women’s health”
- 1st bullet – pregnancy needs a “g” added
Fertility insert:- Is the font a different size than the other inserts?
- Should the subhead be purple? On the brochure all bulleted lists use purple subheads and just text uses burgundy?
- 2nd bullet – add after monitoring “, including in-house intrauterine insemination (IUI)”
Surgery insert (some of these edits are repeats from the last round of edits, so not sure if they were inadvertently overlooked or purposefully not changed):- 1st para, 3rd sent – add the word that after ensure – “… ensure that you get …”
- 2nd para, 1st sent – change “leading-edge” to “contemporary”
- 2nd para, 2nd sent – change “learning and refining” to “reviewing and learning”
- Should the subhead be purple?
- 1st bullet – since & is used and not or shouldn’t biopsy be biopsies since there are three listed?
- 5th bullet – change bullet to “Evaluation & treatment of abnormal Pap results – colposcopy, LEEP, conization”
- 7th bullet – add “& surgery”
Gyn insert:- 1st para, 1st sent – lowercase “women’s health care” and make health care two words
- 1st subhead – lowercase “well-women”
- Should both subheads be purple?
- 4th and 5th bullet – extra space before Evaluation
- Last para, 1st sent – add spaces before and after the em dash
Obstetrics insert:- 3rd para, 2nd sent – remove the comma after cancer
- 4th para, 2nd sent – add about to “(due at about the same time)”
- 3rd subhead – remove comma after personal
- Last para, 2nd sent – change “leading-edge” to “contemporary”
cc:
Simona
Michelle
Please review my notes below. Strike-thru means change was made as requested. Otherwise, notes provided.
Marked PDF is at the bottom.
OMT insert:
2nd para, 2nd sent – add a space between “care …”3rd para, 3rd sent – lowercase “women’s health”1st bullet – pregnancy needs a “g” added2nd bullet – add after monitoring “, including in-house intrauterine insemination (IUI)”1st para, 3rd sent – add the word that after ensure – “… ensure that you get …” THIS REVISION, INITIALLY, WAS PURPOSEFULLY SKIPPED. THE CLIENT INSISTS ON REPLACING EVERY INSTANCE OF implied "that" WITH AN overtly stated "that." USING implied "that" IS PERFECTLY NORMAL AND INDEED MORE COMMON AND WELCOME IN MOST SITUATIONS. I'D ADVISE AGAINST THE stated "that" HERE, BUT NOT AT THIS STAGE. I'VE MADE THIS CHANGE.2nd para, 1st sent – change “leading-edge” to “contemporary”2nd para, 2nd sent – change “learning and refining” to “reviewing and learning”5th bullet – change bullet to “Evaluation & treatment of abnormal Pap results – colposcopy, LEEP, conization”7th bullet – add “& surgery”1st para, 1st sent – lowercase “women’s health care” and make health care two words1st subhead – lowercase “well-women”PLEASE NOTE: it was "woman" and I've left it that way. If "woman" needs to become "women," please let me know.4th and 5th bullet – extra space before EvaluationLast para, 1st sent – add spaces before and after the em dash3rd para, 2nd sent – remove the comma after cancer4th para, 2nd sent – add about to “(due at about the same time)”3rd subhead – remove comma after personalLast para, 2nd sent – change “leading-edge” to “contemporary”Regarding the subhead colors:
The brochure has burgundy subheads and then purple subheads for bulleted list. The inserts only have subheads so I just used the burgundy color throughout. I thought it looked good with the main headline in purple and the subs as burgundy.
Regarding the leading of the inserts:
Yes, different pages have slightly different leading. Some pages have less copy and would create too much white space at the bottom if we were to keep the exact same leading on every insert. The inserts are stepped so the space for each varies. I tried to make them look their best but if you would prefer the same size for each page I can do that but do realize that some pages will have a lot of white space above the call to action and logo section.
:-)