Huron Regional Medical Center (HRMC)

- Digital - AM: Aurora

Landing page client feedback

Assigned to
Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter at Healthcare Success Greg A.
Due on
Notes
Hi Greg, 

Here's the feedback from the client. Let me know if you have any questions. 

Landing page (edited document attached with the geographical region changed)
  • Header – add a trackable phone #
  • Home H1: – change “All-Woman” to All-Female”. I recommend against this change. It is much more likely that a searcher will type "woman" than "female." And as "all-woman," it is just as clear. 
  • Home H1: – capitalize “Is”*
  • Home add a space before and after the ellipsis. I did not make this change, as we are following our style (based on industry norms). 
  • Home H2: - add the word the to “ … trust the Women’s Wellness Center …”*
  • Home 3rd bullet - Hyphenate Well-Woman
  • Home 3rd bullet - Also should “woman” be or not be capitalized?? Capitalized. 
  • Home 3rd bullet – spell out GYN
  • Home 4th bullet – add in “traditional prenatal care” after including,
  • Why Specialty OB/GYN 2nd sentence – move “residency” after OB/GYN – “… our doctors combine OB/GYN residency training …”
  • Why Specialty OB/GYN 2nd sentence – remove the word “the” between “with” and “personal”*
  • Why Specialty OB/GYN 2nd sentence – remove “we have as women”
  • Why Specialty OB/GYN 3rd sentence – Does not like this sentence. *
  • Gynecologic care 1st bullet - Hyphenate Well-Woman exams
  • Gynecologic care 1st bullet - Also should “woman” be or not be capitalized?? Capped, for sure. 
  • Gynecologic care 3rd bullet – remove HPV vaccinations – verified they do not stock them
  • Gynecologic care 5th bullet – change to “Pap smears and other cancer screenings”
  • Gynecologic care 6th bullet – remove this bullet
  • Gynecologic care 7th bullet – change to “Colposcopy & endometrial biopsy”
  • Gynecologic care 8th bullet – change to “Hysteroscopy”
  • Gynecologic care 12th bullet – change “in-house” to “in-office”*
  • Pregnancy care H3: - lower case “a”
  • Pregnancy care 1st para 3rd sentence – remove the comma after “top-quality care”
  • Pregnancy care 3rd bullet – maybe add something about outcomes?? I did not make this change. We already mention the only outcome that matters: healthy babies. We don't want to lose that. And if we add "and excellent outcomes, we introduce the possibility that one could have a good outcome and still not have a healthy baby. We don't want that thought in play at all. 
  • Pregnancy care last bullet – change “assistance” to “care”
  • Pregnancy care bullet list – add a bullet called “Lactation services”
  • Our doctors 1st para 1st sentence – remove “Women’s Health”. WE NEED CLARITY ON THIS ONE. THEY ARE NOT THE ONLY BOARD-CERTIFIED SPECIALISTS IN HURON. THEY ARE THE ONLY BOARD-CERTIFIED WOMEN'S HEALTH (OB/GYN) SPECIALISTS. WE CAN'T MAKE THIS CHANGE, AS IT WOULD BE FALSE AND MARKETING-IMPAIRED. WE CAN CHANGE THIS TO "OB/GYN SPECIALISTS," IF THE CLIENT PREFERS IT. 
  • Our doctors 1st para 2nd sentence – lower care “women’s health”. I did not make this change. We want to keep this as a proper noun. This is a best practice. 
  • Our doctors Dr. Castellanos quote - add a space before and after and use an en dash “… the person – not just …” I did not make this change. We follow our style guide, which is based on industry norms. 
  • Our doctors Dr. Brock quote – update date with new quote
 

Comments & Events

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter at Healthcare Success
Greg Ashbaugh completed this to-do.