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From the list: Landing page

✔ HOT! Landing page feedback

Michelle D. added this on Mar 29, 2018
Completed Mar 30, 2018 by Greg A.

Assigned to

Greg A.

Due on

Mar 29, 2018

Notes

Hey Greg,

Can you please complete this feedback as soon as you can tomorrow? I need to get it over to Simona so she can complete before she leaves on Friday. (Tomorrow is her last day before vacation.)

http://www.womenswellnesshuron.com/

Thank you!!

Stacie is emailing the brochure edits as we speak. Here are our comments on the landing page:

Can we please put spaces either side of the ellipses? We checked AP Style and this is correct, it’s also in our HRMC style guide.
In the third bullet Well-Woman isn’t capitalized like in other instances ... we prefer it not be capitalized, but thought you had it capitalized for a reason in the other pieces? In the end, consistency is our vote:-)
The font in Request Appointment online is serif font, please change like the headers

Why Specialty OB/GYN

We feel like we need a little more “sell” here on the specialty. I’m envisioning a paragraph on why we need specialists for our “regular” women’s health needs followed by another on why a specialist for the pre-pregnancy and pregnancy stages of our lives (e.g. good reproductive health, high-risk pregnancies, unexpected complications).

Gynecologic Care

change first “exam” during puberty to “visit” like in other places
Looks like an odd space after Hysterectomy?

Pregnancy Care

Looks like an extra space in the sub head?

Our Doctors

remove “truly” before specialized
Make health care two words in Dr. Brock’s quote

Footer – capitalize the T on Through. Fix the font issue on the appointment button.

WWC Landing page.pdf 244 KB • Download

Niki

Comments & Events

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

:

Same thing here as on the Bro: lots of stuff revised but also stuff that I advise against. See below. Again, as with the Bro, PDF is provided, but there are still open issues. Also as with the Bro, my feedback was written for YOU, not the client. Please be sure to review carefully and modify as needed for your contact with the client.

Can we please put spaces either side of the ellipses? We checked AP Style and this is correct, it’s also in our HRMC style guide. We can, but we advise against this. The usage for ellipses in journalism is generally to indicate where there are omitted words, so an ellipsis gets the same treatment as a word (space before and after). Our usage is very nearly NEVER as a stand-in for missing words. In fact, we purposely don't want people to draw the erroneous conclusion that words are missing. Our usage is much more informal and based on the fundamental principle that we should write the way people speak. So, our ellipses are pauses, not stand-ins for missing words. I'd therefore recommend using space after or no spaces. But space before and after will indicate to informed readers that there is language missing when there really is not.
In the third bullet Well-Woman isn’t capitalized like in other instances ... we prefer it not be capitalized, but thought you had it capitalized for a reason in the other pieces? In the end, consistency is our vote:-) That's our vote, as well. We may have allowed one or two to slip through. The only capitalization of "Well-Woman" (a compound adjective) should be in titles/labels that implement Title Case. There are e. none on this Landing Page.
The font in Request Appointment online is serif font, please change like the headers ART CHANGE

Why Specialty OB/GYN

We feel like we need a little more “sell” here on the specialty. I’m envisioning a paragraph on why we need specialists for our “regular” women’s health needs followed by another on why a specialist for the pre-pregnancy and pregnancy stages of our lives (e.g. good reproductive health, high-risk pregnancies, unexpected complications). This is a little off-strategy for this landing page. The answer to the question "why specialty OB/GYN care?" really just boils down to "because that's what it takes." We're not trying to sell the specialty; we're selling specialization. So, I've made changes, but not as requested. I've added a new first paragraph to flesh out the importance of specialized medical care. Then, I modified the old paragraph (now the second of two) to quickly mention some of the specifics mentioned in the client's request. This section is exists to basically say you need specialized care, here's why, and you can get it only from us.

Gynecologic Care

~~change first “exam” during puberty to “visit” like in other places~~
~~Looks like an odd space after Hysterectomy?~~

Pregnancy Care

~~Looks like an extra space in the sub head?~~

Our Doctors

~~remove “truly” before specialized~~. I made this change, but I advise that we keep it with "truly." I know and the client knows that "specialized" means "board-certified," but the reader does not. So, they are likely to think that the doctors in the are who provide these services are specialized simply because they provide the services. I very deliberately added "truly" specifically to create a "but-this-one-goes-to-eleven" difference. Basically, if they think the FP doc delivering babies is specialized in OB, we don't want to be "also." Rather, we want to be "more". Again, I deleted it, but I recommend we keep it or, at the least, explain to them our reasoning so they can reconsider in that context.
Make health care two words in Dr. Brock’s quote There are really only two options for this: (1) Leave it as-is. (2) Change "women's healthcare" to "Women's Health care". I went with #2.
~~Footer – capitalize the T on Through.~~
Fix the font issue on the appointment button. ART CHANGE

HRMC_LP_client changes.pdf 326 KB • Download

Mar 29, 2018 at 10:44 PM Notified 2 people

Michelle Day, 💁🏼

Greg

- can you update today?

Style guidelines from client:

Ellipsis – We are leaning towards using spaces before and after the ellipsis. Since AP style says to add the spaces, even for a pause, we would like to be consistent so we have a guideline to follow for all of our marketing materials.

Em dash – please use an em dash but add spaces before and after for readability and to follow AP style.

Women’s Health – we understand your point of wanting to “make” it a proper noun, but will the consumer? Again, we want to try to be consistent across the board with all of our marketing materials and we would not capitalize it in other collateral.

Well-woman – Let’s follow the title case when the other words in a headline or subhead are being capitalized. Otherwise, only capitalize the word “Well” (not woman) if it starts a sentence or bullet point.

Mar 30, 2018 at 6:34 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

:

I think so. I've yet to start on the writing of the CEO landing page (busy handling all the input, nearly done), so it may be tight. Definitely on the docket for today, though.

Mar 30, 2018 at 6:37 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

:

Oops. Also going to have fit in QA proofing/revisions for MOMS and review of Carolyn's AHRC Drip Email copy.

Back to it!

-- G

Mar 30, 2018 at 6:38 PM Notified 2 people

Michelle Day, 💁🏼

CEO landing page isn't due until next week. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. :)

Mar 30, 2018 at 6:43 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

:

Two days ago on this TO DO (Write Landing Page - Coastal Empire Orthopedics (CEO)), Niki sounded like she was adding it to WIP. Please look and let me know. If it's no longer my top priority, then I know what to focus on.

-- G

Mar 30, 2018 at 7:04 PM Notified 2 people

Michelle Day, 💁🏼

It hasn't been added to WIP for this month based on the spreadsheet. I've texted Niki about our plan of action to push this until other more urgent items are complete.

Mar 30, 2018 at 8:25 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

: Thank you!

-- G

Mar 30, 2018 at 8:35 PM Notified 2 people

Michelle Day, 💁🏼

Let me know when you've completed this! You aren't able to go into unbounce and change by yourself, right?

Mar 30, 2018 at 8:36 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Exactly right. I mean, I'm able, but I'd need to be shown how. :-)

-- G

Mar 30, 2018 at 8:38 PM Notified 2 people

Michelle Day, 💁🏼

Okay, something was telling me you used to go in and make your own edits. Just trying to save an extra step here. Carry on!

Mar 30, 2018 at 8:48 PM Notified 2 people

Greg Ashbaugh, Sr. Copywriter

Michelle

:

Okay, here you go (attached below). This was pretty quick and easy. I merely added the new revisions to the previously posted PDF, herein resubmitted: